Paul is one of my very best friends. Here’s a great message he delivered at Sun Valley Church in Gilbert, AZ Check out his blog (HERE)
Great Family Message by Paul Alexander
Categories: Ever Wonder???, Tool Box
Tags: Family, Parenting, Paul Alexander, Sun Valley Church
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Longing for Africa
As many of you know, my family and I have been on a journey over the last couple years. This journey has brought us from the comfort of our home in the suburbs to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. For those of you who have followed us on this adoption journey, I wanted to let you know that the journey continues. Along with adoption, Aime and I have felt the call of God to continue to advocate for those who cannot.
If you have been following our site at longingforafrica.blogspot.com… we’ve moved. We’re now a WordPress site. So be sure to check us out (HERE) at www.longingforafrica.com ! Be sure to bookmark it, and continue with us on this journey.
~Joe
Another Adoption Journey (Guest post by Dan and Christi Ucherek)
Dan and Christi are a couple that are living out what it means to be the hands and feet of Christ to a broken world. I encourage you all to check out this guest post… and follow-up with acting on their message of hope by joining them on their journey. ~ Introducing…. Dan and Christi
I just want to start by thanking you for taking the time to read the story that God is writing with our lives… and a HUGE thank you to Empowering Families and Joe and Aime for sharing their blog space with us – what a blessing!
First, let me start by introducing ourselves… my wonderful hubby Dan, I’m Christi, our sweet boy Malakai Aweke… and there’s a bun in the oven due 3/18!
Our story goes a little something like this…
In 2003, while dating, our eyes were opened to the plight of the orphan. God used the trip that I, Christi, took to the Dominican Republic to change our hearts forever!
About six months prior, I had been introduced to Jesus Christ for the first time in my life. As I started a relationship with HIM and dug into HIS Word, I began to see that He had plans far better than anything I had imagined.
I was given an opportunity to serve overseas for about 4 weeks that summer. While I had no idea how this would happen financially, God pulled together the pieces and I left on a plane for the Dominican Republic that June. I had NEVER flown before, I had NEVER left my family for that long, I was SCARED to leave Dan, and I was serving with 30 others that I had never met!
What happened over the next 4 weeks completely rocked my world!
I knew there were orphans in the world…
I knew there were widows…
I knew there were poor…
I knew there were many injustices….
BUT I had NEVER been face to face with what I was about to experience.
I spent the next 4 weeks reaching out to a village that was filled with witchcraft…
A village where the ‘workers’ that came in to harvest the surrounding sugar cane fields raped all of the young girls…
a village where children were raising children…
a village where most of the people were walking around naked from lack of clothing…
a village where the children had bloated bellies from lack of food…
a surrounding garbage dump full of HOMES…
families searching for food each day…
children NOT in school…
children NOT being cared for…
the look of despair was on the faces of all…
and people that had NEVER heard the TRUTH of Jesus Christ…
Many faces and stories stand out in my mind, but God used this ONE child to grip my heart forever!
For months I would cry myself to sleep wondering if anyone was taking care of him, if anyone was feeding him, and what would happen to all those precious lives!
I returned not completely understanding HOW to process all that I had just experienced. Through much prayer and seeking the wisdom of my pastor, I shared my desire to serve overseas as a full-time missionary and maybe adopt one day with my amazing boyfriend, Dan. We both knew that God was calling us to a life together, but Dan did not share this desire. I remember something along the lines of, “that’s great babe, but I’m a sender, NOT a go-er”…
However, my wise (future) hubby made a commitment that he would pray for these children by name, listen to my stories, help me process all that I had been through, and be supportive of whatever God called me us to… just as long as it wasn’t full time mission work!
Upon returning, I went through a period of really wrestling with the Lord… wondering how HE could burden my heart so heavily to serve the people of the DR BUT at the same time make it so clear that now was not HIS timing! Dan was absolutely instrumental in helping me to process all that I had been through and encouraged me to continue to seek the Lord’s timing and purpose.
During this time, we were both challenged to dig deeper into God’s Word and use our gifts to further the Kingdom. While we were serving, we had grown comfortable and were more willing to serve where and when it was most convenient for us, not really being bold in the name of Jesus!
We soon both felt the Lord calling me to again serve the vulnerable overseas. We asked the Lord to show us where and He led me to a trip to Honduras which was later postponed due to political unrest. I was given the option to go to Guatemala or wait a year to go to Honduras. As we prayed, it was Dan that sensed the Lord was leading me to Guatemala. I vividly recall struggling with this decision and Dan telling me that this may be God’s plan all along, for me to serve in Guatemala…
God definitely wanted me to go on the Guatemala trip! THIS TRIP CHANGED OUR LIVES!
While many stories stand out in my mind, it was THESE two little girls in particular, God used to change our hearts, especially Dan’s heart! Just like the DR trip, HE was using a small child to greatly impact our lives.
The first photo is Milagra- a precious little girl found in a dumpster and the 2nd is Yulisa- a sweet little girl with a big heart that was attached to my hip!
As God would have it, right after I applied to go to Honduras, we were sensing that the Lord was prompting me to serve in a ministry full-time… and I was THRILLED to leave corporate America! We prayed, researched ministries where I could serve, specifically in orphan care or adoption, and surrender this to the Lord and HIS timing! God then called us to my Lifesong for Orphans! God was on the move and we couldn’t have been more excited to be involved in all that HE was doing in and through the Lifesong ministry!
In the same month I start working at Lifesong for Orphans AND serve the orphan and the widow in Guatemala… God is doing a MAJOR work in our hearts…
We set out on this trip knowing that God had plans for it… to spread the gospel, to love on some children without parents to call their own, to serve the widow, to encourage some teens from desperate situations, and to make an impact for the Kingdom.
As I returned home and TRIED to process all I had experienced, I quickly noticed that not only was I lying awake at night crying myself to sleep thinking about the brokenness I had witnessed….. but Dan was too! He could not get enough of the stories and the photos… something was different this time!
God gave Dan this BEAUTIFUL song that he put to the video below which allowed us many opportunities to share and advocate for these precious lives -
She’s got no one to tuck her in at night… does anyone care? Father, please, stir in me, OPEN my eyes to see…. GOD was opening Dan’s eyes to the plight of the orphan… and it was INCREDIBLE!
We were BOTH so broken… people would ask us to share about the trip and we’d both break down… it was ALL we talked about…. we were physically ill thinking of doing anything but going back!
As we left Guatemala, our team gathered around in the airport and asked the Lord to show BOTH Dan and I how HE would have us respond and how we could serve TOGETHER defending the cause of the fatherless. That spot in the airport is so overwhelming to me!
Over the next months, we sensed the Lord calling us to adopt. We contacted everyone we could get our hands on to try to pursue these 2 sweet girls… and door after door was closed. We made a covenant with the Lord that we WOULD adopt these 2 sweet girls… whenever He called us to. We eventually received the news that ALL adoptions from Guatemala to the U.S. were closed… that we could do nothing, but pray. And pray we did. Fervently!
As we continued to call these girls our own and share them with everyone we knew… God made it clear that He was still calling us to adopt, even though these girls were unavailable right now.
WHAT? You break us with this trip…. we FALL in love with these girls… we call them our own… we are BROKEN that we can’t get on a plane right now and bring them home… you want us to put ourselves out there again, knowing the same thing could happen again? Really God?!?!
Trust in ME, I am the WAY, the TRUTH, and the LIFE!
So, we took steps in obedience. We started talking with agencies and began praying over every country on the map… we eventually read about the Ethiopia program through All God’s Children International and their transition home, Hannah’s Hope. We prayed that God would make it clear…. and He did!
The feelings of a piece of us missing started immediately!
The thoughts of whether or not our child was being taken care of were intense!
The guilt of doing anything BUT paperwork every second of every day took over!
Dan constantly wondered if our child(ren) were safe!
I constantly wondered if they were being loved!
We moved forward in faith! January 2010 the paperwork began and we tackled it with great joy knowing that God was in control of EVERYTHING… that HIS timing was perfect! By April we were ready to be matched with a child, which we thought would be quick.
Quick it was not! Easy to smile and look back on now, but HARD in the midst of it. Side note – if you know someone going through the adoption journey, their emotions are REAL, RAW, and need to be validated! Do not discount that they are expecting, whether you can see it in their not-so-growing belly or not! This journey is HARD… people do NOT understand… you get STRANGE comments… and everyone somehow thinks they all of a sudden are open to ask any personal question regarding your sex life and your uterus that pops in their head! Assumptions should NOT be made… just because someone is adopting does NOT mean that it was plan B for their family… adoption is OFTEN Plan A, just like it was for OUR family!
We waited… we prayed… we shared our hearts… we advocated… we served… we told everyone we knew… we fundraised… we asked our friends to fundraise for us… to ask their friends to support us… it was humbling, it was overwhelming, and it puts you under a microscope. However, it is truly a MIRACLE to see the Lord work IN and THROUGH so many to bring HIS plans to completion!
On February 17th, 2011 we received the call that would change our lives forever!To read the details of the call, see this post! Here’s the video we put together to capture this sweet moment -
“Jesus we praise You and thank You for allowing us this opportunity… thank you for breaking our hearts for the fatherless… and for allowing us the opportunity to say that as of February 17th, 2011, there’s ONE LESS orphan in this world!”
We walk through the rest of the process, fly to Ethiopia twice, and return home on Father’s Day 2011 with this bundle of joy!
This little sweetie turned our lives inside out and showed us Christ’s love in a whole new way!
You see, God tells us to love each other unconditionally… those that may get on our nerves, co-workers that we don’t work easily with, etc…. BUT we’ve never before been challenged with loving someone that pushed us away, rejected us, and did NOT want to be in our home. This sweet boy has taught us more in the 9 months that he’s been in our home about Christ’s love for EACH OF US than anything else in our lives! He has blessed us more than we will EVER be able to bless him!
After our first trip to Ethiopia, we both knew the Lord was calling us to overseas mission work. Our hearts were once again broken by the plight of the orphan, the vulnerable, and the outcast…
As we returned home… we were broken-hearted. Not only had we left our son on the other side of the globe, but we also left a country and people that we had grown to love dearly in one short week.
We again prayed…. we KNEW God was calling us to serve overseas and we made a commitment that we would take steps of faith as He opened doors!
Four LONG weeks after our first trip we returned to be re-united with our son and bring him HOME forever. Our hearts and minds were consumed for many weeks with helping him transition, being the consistent in this life, and making sure we were doing all we could to bond and attach with this sweet boy. We still prayed for the Lord to reveal HIS plan. We could NOT return unchanged!
As the Lord does in HIS time, He started to open some doors and slam others shut… we soon knew that He was calling us to Guatemala to serve full time! We felt particularly drawn to Eagle’s Nest International and the work that they are doing. You see, our hearts are to serve the orphan, show them what a family is, to reach out to a lost community, to bring hope to the hurting, and love like we’ve never loved before. We took a trip this past December asking the Lord to give us clarity as we served together and HE made it abundantly clear that we are to serve at Eagle’s Nest.
For many of the children living at Eagle’s Nest, it is the ONLY home they have ever known… it is where they will form their idea of a ‘family’ even though we all wish they could be in a family rather than an orphanage. For others, Eagle’s Nest will be a refuge and a safe haven where they can learn about Jesus and His great plans for their lives!
We plan to move to Guatemala, Lord willing, this coming June to serve at Eagle’s Nest International. Some of the ways we will be serving include providing holistic orphan care to the children living at the home and will continue to bring in more children as we are able. We have a fantastic opportunity to reach out to the community through the Manna feeding program, a sports ministry, and a new music ministry that Dan will be launching! In addition, we’ll serve the Sololá community through outreach and evangelism, a Christian school, and New Birth Church. We’re incredibly humbled that God has provided so many opportunities to minister to those in need!
Along with this step of faith comes a lot of uneasiness if we are really honest! We’re doing all we can to sell our belongings, sell our home, and prepare our hearts! We’ve asked many to consider reaching out to pastors, small groups, or Sunday school classed to allow us the opportunity to share this story… knowing that God can use it to plant many seeds!
We need you! It’s as simple as that! We can’t go until we have 75% of our need in monthly commitments so that we can effectively minister to the Sololá community and care for our family! That’s where YOU come in!
Would you consider giving $10 and telling 10 of your friends? It’s that simple!
We need your partnership…. through prayer, through giving, and through telling others!
Even if you can’t give… do you have 10 friends that you could share our story with?
To continue watching this journey unfold, follow us here.
Love in Christ,
Dan, Christi & Malakai Ucherek
How To Love Your Spouse When You’re In a Rut…
My wife and I have a great marriage. It’s not good… it’s great! Now don’t get confused, this doesn’t mean we don’t fight. It doesn’t mean we always agree. It doesn’t even mean we REALLY like each other all the time, BUT what choose to love each other. We choose to work hard at this marriage. We’re not satisfied with simply surviving marriage. We want to thrive! With that in mind, here’s another great post from my wife.
Have you ever been in a rut? You know, when things are going fine, not great, just going, the same old, same old, stagnant. Our spouses are not supposed to become just our roommates whom simply we live with and do life with. This can easily happen if we don’t put forth time and effort into our marriages. I’ve said before, but next to your relationship with the Lord, your relationship with your spouse is the foundation on which your family is built. It can be so much better than just going through the day to day motions of life with one another, but sometimes it takes some extra work on our part especially when we get into a those darn ruts!
Here’s a quick challenge:
This week grab a piece of paper and pen and write down what first attracted you to your spouse. Write down every little detail. Write down memories. Write down when your first knew he or she was “the one”.
You can start it like…”Hey…just wanted you to know that I got to thinking about when we first met and I remembered #1. When I was sitting in class, I would look around to see if you were there. Then I would get butterflies when I saw you.” #2 I loved your eyes #3 I was always amazed how athletic you were. #4 I loved that you were so outgoing and fun…there was never a dull moment. #5 I loved our late night talks in my driveway. #5 and so forth…
It’s simple as that. Then pray and thank God for those qualities and for reminding you of them and ask him to help you to get motivated, to be creative, and to put more effort into cultivating your marriage. Then put that piece of paper in a envelope and give it to your spouseJ When I do this, it puts a new light on things and adds a little spark that was needed.
Chardon High School… Our Wake Up Call
It’s amazing how when you’re so close to a situation you become unaware of how big it is. We live about 25 minutes south of Chardon High School. Our church (Fellowship Bible) has been touched by the shootings. We have church family there. We have an Elder who’s a teacher there at the High School. We have family members related to the victims… and the shooter. As you can imagine, it’s been a whirlwind of activity over the last couple days.
With all that being said, it wasn’t until today that I truly realized that this is big, Really BIG! There are people all over this country questioning…shocked… and praying. Here’s our take on this experience in just a few words.
We’re shocked – just like everyone else.
We’re hurt – that a family could be in so much trouble that a child destroys lives so fast.
We’re hoping – that God uses this horrific event to draw people to him.
I know this is short and probably sounds a little too contrite for some, but there it is. We’re raw and in the moment here. This should not happen… but it does. This world is still the Devil’s playground. It’s about time The Church reclaims some territory… Let’s start with “The Family”.
Hopefully something a little more profound coming later…
7 by Jen Hatmaker
” If a picture is worth a 1000 words than an ACTION is worth millions…”
Reading THIS GREAT BOOK now…More to come on how it’s unlocking my wife and I and giving word to a feeling we’ve had for quite some time.
Coming Full Circle…
Finally finished our Gotcha Day video… Enjoy
Follow our journey @ www.longingforafrica.com
The Magic of a Dry Erase Marker
With facebook, texting, emailing, twitter, blogs…do you ever miss an old-fashioned hand written note? You know…getting a card in the mail or hand passing notes like we did in junior high? There is something special about seeing your loved one’s handwriting. It’s theirs and only theirs. A small gift to you from them.
Here’s an easy TIP to pour into our marriage or parenting:
”THE MAGIC OF A DRY ERASE MARKER”…simple and easy…check this out…
I read this somewhere and thought it was brilliant! We keep a dry erase marker in our bathroom and every once in awhile jot a hand written love note to each other on the mirror. It is so fun to wake up or to come home from school or work to a small hand written love note. Simple way to pour into your marriage or into your kiddos! (And it is easy to clean up…wipes right off with a dry cloth.) Note: Don’t use it for reminders for your husband, wife, or kiddos…it kills the mood….ha!
WARNING: DO NOT USE A PERMENANT MARKER! THAT WOULD BE ONE EXPENSIVE LOVE NOTE! MAKE SURE YOUR KIDDOS KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MARKERS…JUST SAYIN…HA!
Now go get yourself a dry erase marker!
Datenites…make dating your spouse a priority
Joe and I go out twice a month on a hot date! Yes, after 15 yrs of marriage, 18 yrs together, and 20 yrs of knowing each other, we still date! We know relationships take work…hard work, so we carve out time to spend together. Alone. Without the kiddos. (Moms…this one can be a hard one for us at times and not so hard at times, esp when we are stir crazy to get a moment of just being, but still carve out that time…IT IS WORTH IT!) Sometimes we go for walks on our bike path, sometimes we just chat over a cuppa Starbucks, sometimes we play! He truly knows how to make me laugh and I love to spend time with him! We are the type of couple that when we are apart, we miss each other. We also have realized that if we don’t pursue one another our love tanks become depleted.
Dates don’t have to kill your budget. This took some creativity on our part, but we trade with close friends for our date nights. We watch their kids one Friday and then they watch ours the next. We keep the trade off the same every month. They go out first weekend of the month and we go out the second. This way we know that we can’t make plans because we have a commitment to each other. So we encourage you all to “Date” your spouses! Next to your relationship with the Lord, it is the most important relationship you have and it will continue long after the kids leave the house. A good marriage is one of the best gifts you can give your family! Each day this week, do one thing a day to show your spouse you love them! Write them a love note, take the time to sit and talk over coffee, bring home their favorite chocolate or food just for them, initiate sex, get a babysitter and go on a date, complete a task they’ve been asking you to do, send them something at work telling them you miss them when they are gone, brag on him/her in front of your friends, text them and tell them you LOVE them, thank them for something they do for you! Pursue each other and find out what meets the other person’s needs!
Share with us! What are some ideas that have worked to make datenites a priority in your marriage or relationship?
Wanting to focus on your family this year?
Guest post by my amazing wife…
My husband and I are passionate about the “Family”. We have spent the last decade in full time ministry working with children and their families. Our hearts desire is to encourage husbands and wives to focus on growing closer together as a couple and raise their children to live lives that are pleasing to God.
Click to Order Your Copy
God is doing great things through the Family Road Map! Each time we send a shipment out, I pray that one more family or church ministry is helped or encouraged through it. Just wanted to share a comment from one family who has worked through the Road Map, “We keep working through the Family Road Map. Really fun. Went to Chili’s for dinner on Friday night and talked through it a bit. Then on Saturday, we talked about a few pages for a couple hours! It’s an awesome tool.” Love getting these emails! Thank you to those whom have shared a little of your story of how God has used it in your family!
We want to share a snippet of our family values with you. These values help us to focus day in and day out what were all about as a family. Our children know them by heart and we integrate them in how we parent and why we do what we do. They help keep us on track or bring us back on track for that matter. The Family Road Map was designed to help you determine the purpose and direction of your family along with mile markers and yearly tune-ups. It walks you step by step in how to pinpoint your own family values and how to integrate them into everyday life.
Our Family Purpose and Values
“Our family exists to Live a Life that is owned by God.” I Peter 2:9
1. Authentic relationship with God: real worship, in the word, prayer, outspoken, missions, …not in a box Christianity
2. Family Time: fun, laughter, cuddling, enjoy life, vacations, hikes, camping, movie nights, family days
3. Family First: elbow to elbow, don’t take sides against the family, closeness
4. Grace: forgiveness, unconditional love
5. Integrity: truth, admitting downfalls, authenticity
6. Individualism: creativity, likes, dislikes, personality
7. Leadership: teachable heart, learner, manners, cooperation, respect, can stand alone, lead out
8. Power of Words and Attitude
9. Servant Heart: kindness, thoughtfulness, poor, orphans, widows, other’s first
10. Simplicity: contentment
11. Wise Choices: discernment
12. Good Enough: your best is good enough
So here are our values, who we are, and why we live how we try to live each day!
Categories: Marriage, Tool Box
Tags: Family, Family Road Map, Parenting, Parenting 101
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